The Girl With the Long Hair.

So, I walked onto the bus early this morning, and I saw an interesting thing. Well, an interesting person. An interesting girl. I saw her from behind. What caught my attention, was her extremely long strait blond hair. It was LONG! Long like down to her legs long, and she wore it in a loose ponytail. Her hair was scraggly, no doubt because of the damages of hair dye, and yet there was something interesting about the tint of it. I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was. Her outfit was right on trend, knee high, brown, high heeled boots, skinnies, and a leather and fur pilot jacket. Her earrings were big, like I could wear them on my wrist big. I was digging this girl's style. Her style was cool, her hair was unique, I was in definite admiration of this girls style choices.

I sat down on the front bench of the bus like I always do and she went to sit somewhere in the back. I did my usual and took advantage of the next 20 minutes on the bus, by taking a nap. When I woke up, I was at my stop and as I got up to walk off I accidentally bumped into the girl with the long hair. To my most astonishing surprise, she wasn't a girl at all. She was an old lady! A very old looking lady. And as the early morning light began to shine in the bus, I could see clearly now that her hair was not blond, but it was very much white! Her face was full of wrinkles, and on closer encounter, her hands were also very wrinkly. It was amazing. Baffling almost. I couldn't believe my eyes!

My mind turned to a phrase I have thought often to myself, "Sina, you should dress your age." What does that mean? How should a lady her age dress. The wrinkles on her face made her seem a definite 68, and aging very badly. But how should she dress? Like a flashback from the 50's... I think not. In a time and place where everyone can be labeled, defined and stereotyped into a comfy little box, she would not.

Kudos to her. Not to mention a great thanks, for opening up my mind from the little cardboard box it was to something with more possibilities...

I Can Do That Too!

I get so annoyed with people on the bus who aren't considerate of others. I just can't stand people who are inconsiderate in the first place. The most annoying thing a person can do on the bus, is take up seating space with their personal items. I mean, lets be real here, there are 30 seats, and 50 people on the bus, where in the first nations does a person get the notion that they are somehow better than the rest of the population of riders, in that they deserve to have two seats instead of one?!

In my limited experience, the demographics of people who ride the bus consists of working people, struggling people, and homeless people. For the lady who has been cleaning people's houses all day, or waiting tables, or the professor who's been teaching classes all day, a seat is a very valuable thing. To have to stand for possibly hours more after working and standing all day is the last thing a person wants to do. Yet, some people find it more important to use the only seat left on the bus, to rest an inanimate object such as a backpack, or a box of donuts! How could someone do this?!?!?!?! This is absolutely incomprehensible!!!! I can't fathom how a person could lack such decency and disrespect the feelings of others! It's abominable!

Well...

Yesterday, I had a bad day. Bad day. I was that tired person. I was angry. I thought that my back was going to break from the weight of my huge backpack which was filled to the brim with stuff and by the time I caught my second bus, I was ready to scream and I still had a train ride and another bus ride to go. I was gonna lose it. I got into this bus, which looked inside like an airplane, and I sat myself next to the window. In my brain I just dreaded having to squeeze myself next to someone else, and then a miracle happened-- no one came and sat next to me. I was shocked. I thought of all of the times I had ridden this bus and had to ask people to move their bags and papers and junk so I could sit down. Every time this had happened, I got nasty glares from the people as if they has some kind of right over me, and were disgusted that they had to even grant such a request. Now, for the first time, I had a 2 seat space all to myself! What could I do?

The thought crossed my mind, "I wonder what it's like to be them? To be the rude person." People would inevitably be coming onto the bus after me, but I didn't care. I was tired. I apprehensively placed my very large backpack on the seat next to me. Obviously I was going to move it if someone asked to sit down, but only if they asked. Inside, I felt a little excited. Like somehow my act of rudeness towards other people, was going to balance the Universe. I felt a little mischievous and it made me smile inside as I closed my eyes to go to sleep.

The next thing I knew, I woke up at the train station and my backpack was nestled safely next to me still. I grabbed my bag and jumped off the bus, and couldn't help but smile to myself. In reality, it didn't make any difference, and the bus seemed to be rather empty yesterday. There were actually lots of empty seats on the bus, and I bet no one even tried to sit next to me. So I guess in a lot of ways, my little experiment was not quite the same thing, but it was a good attempt on my end. Inevitably I realized, I could do that too, I could be that same rude person that I hate so much.

I would have never thought... hm... I better check myself.

Just a Little Effort

I was going to my sister's house. No big deal. It's only a short ride from my work, and comes with no difficulties at all. Not to mention that the bus stop is right outside my office building. In the moment, I was very into the conversation I was having with my co-worker. The large windows in our office look right out onto the main road where the bus passes, and mid sentence, I saw it, the bus. From that moment, I would have exactly two minutes to get to the stop outside and across the street before the bus flipped around and left. I hadn't yet closed out my computer all the way, nor did I gather my things. I was frantic.

After I quickly gathered my things, I found myself running out the door, down the two flights of stairs and out towards the main road. The bus was there, stopped at the stop picking up people. As I was running, I could hear it, the unmistakable sound of the bus taking off. I couldn't miss it. I just couldn't. I looked both ways and saw cars coming from both directions and in a split second decided to do that very thing that I learned not to do in grade school. I was gonna make a run for it. I ran right through the cars toward the already moving bus. My mind was not preoccupied with how many people were looking at me, or what the people on the bus might think, as I ran I jumped up and down waving my arms in the air hoping that the bus driver might take pity on me and stop. And lo, and behold, he did.

I was so grateful to the bus driver and thanked him probably ten times before I sat down. I could hardly breathe as I sat down, and tried to slowly catch my breath and regain some composure. The bus driver looked a lot like a train conductor, with that conductor hat and a thick, twisty mustache. "There are some people," he began "who just haven't got it." I looked up into his rear view mirror and noticed that he was looking directly at me. "I see them all the time," he continued. "They see that the bus is getting ready to leave, and you can see it in their face, they give up. They're weak! They're satisfied with waiting who knows how long for the next bus to come along." I was surprised, I couldn't even understand why he would talk about something like this. "But then," he went on, "there are some people who won't stop trying. They never give up. You can see it in their face that they want to make it badly, and they run. They run like they're in a race. They put forth just a little effort, and they don't give up..." I was now listening intently to what he was saying. "And those people, those people are worth stopping for. Those people are gonna make it. I will always stop for people like that."

I was absolutely touched by the words of this man. I was so deeply affected by his words on a level that truly spoke to my soul. I almost wanted to cry. To think, that this man thinks I'm one of those people. I'm not like that, he just doesn't know any better. I'm a quitter. I'm not gonna make it. I've just struggled my whole life. But for that short little ride on the bus, my mind contemplated for the first time, my own capacity. I want to be that person. And in my heart, this man planted a seed of belief and desire to be greater than I am. He believes that I am the kind of person, who is strong, who doesn't give up, who's gonna make it. Maybe I can, like he said, with just a little effort...

"It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." - William Ernest Henley

Mr. Dark and Smooth

Oh my freaking gosh!!!!! I love the bus. I love the freaking bus. I love the bus so much!!!! It was like... I don't know. I don't know how it happened, it just did. *Sigh* Phew, breathe Sina... breathe.
Okay, I'm calm.

It all happened because I just couldn't handle it for one more minute. It was two hours early, but I just had to go home. I told my boss that I had finished my project and that I was going home early. I got my stuff together and walked the distance to the bus on the other side of the block. I was worried that my hair looked dumb clipped to the side like I was 10 years old, and my eyeliner was runnin'. It was already a really long day.

I made it onto an earlier bus that I don't usually take and as I sat there minding my business, texting my homegirl, I saw him. He walked onto the bus with a backpack and another guy. I noticed him first because his voice was commanding, but so smooth and he was dark skinned and crazy nice looking. He walked onto the bus and turned to a girl sitting in the front, then asked if he could sit next to her. She looked at him like she just saw a ghost, she couldn't even make a sound. I was chuckling inside that a girl would actually react to a guy that way, he is a guy after all. Needless to say, I took notice of him right away. He moved to the back with his stuff, and I could hear his voice trailing off in the back as if he was talking to someone.

The bus kept going, and at the next stop, the girl next to me got off. I was very happy about it since she was talking my head off about fantasy adventure novels, which I love, but she was much to young to know any of the good ones, and she was quite opinionated about the rest of them. It was altogether weird, and when she left she handed me an origami heart which I had no idea what to make of. Weird and exhausting.

Anyhow, Mr. Dark and Smooth's wing man was sitting right in front of me and motioned to the back that there was an empty seat next to me. I was in the process of texting my homegirl about the sunny weather outside when the man himself came up to me and asked if I could sit down. "Yeah, Bro, sit down, there ain't nobody sittin' here" I said, smiling as I looked back down so that I could finish my text. Right away his face lit up. He looked at me and sat down and looked at me. "You got enough space?" I asked. I'm a heffer, so what the heck, I was adjusting my seating position so he had enough space. He smiled at me and he he was fine. I was trying to pretend that I was preoccupied with my texting when he began talking to me about the white guy in the back who wouldn't move his boxes of donuts so he could sit down. I was amazed! Really?!?! On a bus? Why would someone do that? How inconsiderate. What a hater.

I sympathized with him, and he looked surprised. He then introduced himself and I introduced myself. It was all history from there. We talked a lot about names, since both of our names are interesting to each other, then we talked about where we grew up, our cultures, about what we liked. We were so into our conversation. When he talked about things he would get animated, you could tell that he was passionate about things. And when he talked, oh my goodness, I could just listen to him all day. His accent was like mine, like he grew up in an urban ghetto, but his voice was naturally louder, more commanding, and had a low smooth tone quality. And he wasn't at all apprehensive towards me so when he would talk to me, he would look me directly in the eyes and say it. Let's just say, I was in love. I was just amazed. This dude was real. Like a real dude. No false pride. Not trying to front. Just working, trying to make a buck, on the bus going to work. I never meet guys like this here. I was so comfortable.

We were hitting it off really well. I mean, really well. I didn't really expect anything from it though. Then all of a sudden he asks me, "Do you drink?" I was surprised. Really, really surprised. I mean, this dude was F-I-N-E. I mean like really fine! He was fine, and lean, and fine. I just couldn't believe this dude was tryna spit game at me right now! Whoa, for reals?!?! Dudes who ask me if I drink always want to know for one reason, they want to take me out for a drink. I just never saw it coming from Mr. Dark and Smooth. I didn't have anything to tell him but the truth. "Nah, I don't drink." He was more surprised at this, than I was that he asked. "What?!?! Not even a little?!?!" He said. "Nope," I responded. The tone in his voice changed after that. "Oh, I mean, I don't drink drink. I mean, I drink like casually, sometimes." I laughed at him, and he could see from my face that I wasn't fooled. "No, for reals though, why don't you drink?" He asked. "Uh, I grew up Mormon," I said. "Me too," he quickly interrupted. "Well, my parents were real strict and it just wasn't in my life,' I said. "But why don't you drink though, real talk" he said. I didn't know why he wouldn't let it go. "Well, I don't drink cause I don't need to." I said finally. "Some people need to drink to have fun, to be cool, to be interesting to be around, but I don't. I'm just naturally like that." He was thrown. In retrospect it was a little cocky of me showed my very judgmental nature, but it was what I thought. He couldn't stop looking at me with that amazed expression. "That's tight. Dang girl, I didn't realize you got it like that." He kept saying. "Well, ya know, I'm just tryna spit my game atchu right here."

We were getting towards the train station, and soon we would both have to get off. In that moment it was as if I came back to earth and realized that there were other people squished in the same space as he and I. He looked at me and smiled, and all of a sudden he was fumblin'. "So, uh, well, uh, well if you ever, I mean, maybe..." I was like, "huh?" Mr. Dark and Smooth was having a hard time spittin' out something, and I couldn't make it out. "Uh, maybe can I give you my number and if you ever wanna grab some Peruvian food or whatever, you can hit me up? " I couldn't help but smile, "yeah, that could be cool... okay." We just smiled at each other while he fumbled through his bag for a pen and a paper. I couldn't believe this crazy fine dude was just givin' me his number and I could feel all the girls on the bus hatin' me! I was really calm on the outside, but inside I was jumpin' up and down and givin' myself pats on my own dang back! He got off the bus, and I got off the bus onto the train, and the dream was over. *sigh*

I had to text all my girls, and tell them that this fine dude was tryna holler at me on the bus. *sigh* I love the bus...

Personal Space

I find that every place has it's own communication culture. We all communicate differently, in public, around friends, around strangers. I was always taught to be kind, courteous, and unafraid of strangers. Strangers are people too.

When I was young, friendship relationships built by levels. A potential friend maybe sat next to you at school. This relationships starts with a conversation, finding similarities, talking. Maybe after that, you both decided that you would take your relationship to the next level by hanging out in public. A.K.A, you guys decided to play at the playground at lunchtime. After a long while of that, when the time was right, you took your relationship to the personal level, by letting your friend come over to your house. They then saw your house, your room, the food you eat in your family, the way you live. This is a huge step. This was only done after a good while. As the years pass, your relationship with this person develops from buddy, to chum, to kindred spirits of sorts. These people are allowed in your personal space, because your comfort level with them is quite high.

An interesting thing happens though when you ride the public transportation. I realized this the first time I rode a packed bus. I was on the bus early, so I got a seat in the front. However, as the bus piled in, people were everywhere! Literally. I dreaded the idea of someone sitting next to me, since my broad shoulders were sure to make anyone else a human sandwich. And then, he came, an older gentleman who couldn't walk very well. He was bigger than me and wearing a huge jacket and a backpack. He looked at the seat next to me, and before I could say anything, he was sitting down pretty much on top of me, and rearranging his bag. After we both rearranged ourselves the best we could, I was expecting he was going to look at me and introduce himself at least. After all, we were pretty much sitting on top of each other, and were it not for the fact that there was not even an inch of standing room, I would have moved. He, however, did no such thing, instead he looked at me and put his arm around me and held onto the pole on the other side of my arm. His only words to me were, "I don't wanna fall."

I was amazed. People in public spaces like this, cramped together like sardines at times, and everyone is ignoring each other. Don't you want to know who is sitting in your lap???? I was amazed. Shocked. Confused. This was a different playground, with different rules. In any other situation, if a guy tried to put his arm around me like that when I didn't want him to, of course I would have decked him good right in the face. But I was so confused, that I had to literally sit a whole bus ride, with this guys arm around me, and for the first time in my life, I let him.

Who knew people would be comfortable holding onto a stranger. Talk about stranger danger. Hehehehe.....

Bus Terminology #1

I find myself to be the most unintelligible person at times. I can't help it that my brain works differently than everyone else. I was that annoying child growing up, that always asked, "what is that?" or "why?" My parents can attest to this. And like I said, if my brain doesn't understand it, it isn't it. It's just a something, but definitely not it. Laugh all you like, but I honestly had no idea what any of these things were when I started riding the B-U-S. But now, thanks to all of my annoying questions, and the perfectly annoyed drivers, we are pretty much old friends now.

TERMINOLOGY:

1) Stop (noun): The place where buses may or may not actually stop. These specific areas are identified by a small blue bus stop sign thingy on top of a pole. They have the bus system insignia on them, as well as numbers of the buses that stop at each particular stop. Warning: If there is no one at the stop when the bus approaches, the bus will not stop there. Not that I thought that or anything...

2) End of the line: The end of the line refers to the last stop of the bus or train route. The bus will not go further than this, they will simply turn around and do their route again, backwards. Not literally of course.

3) Transfer
(verb): To go from one bus or train, to another bus or train. I transferred from the Blue Line Southbound to the 215 bus going Northbound.

(noun): A ticket, received on a bus after you have paid the fare. This transfer indicates a time limit by which you must use the transfer in. You can only use transfers once. You'll be disappointed if you try to use it more than this.

4) Fare: This is a monetary unit which you pay before you can ride a bus or train. This is different from the one spelled F-A-I-R, which can mean a huge, fun, carnival with lots of rides and awesomely weird food, which I though the driver meant before. Obviously, I was a bit confused.

5) Stop Request: In every bus and train there are cable like ropes that run through the bus. Pulling on this cable will light a sign in the front near the bus driver that reads, "Stop Requesting." It is also accompanied by a really annoying buzzer sound. This will signal to the driver that he/she needs to stop at the following stop, wherever that may be. Be careful not to pull the cable too early, or you may be let off at the wrong stop. Stop Requests need to be timed perfectly. Warning: everyone on the bus knows exactly which stop they are getting off on, so if you don't you will look like a dunce! If you are unsure, talk to the bus driver and bribe them with candy to let you off at the right place. Works like a charm. ;)

That's all for now. Be good, and travel safely.

First Steps

I just decided recently that I would start writing about this particular subject, since it's something that I now do daily, and I have found that it is an adventure all it's own. I have previously been held back by these crazy phobias about putting my true feelings on the world wide web, which is why I have stayed away from blogging all this time. But alas, I have convinced myself that it is harmless, and here I am starting my first blog. Whoa.

My car died, a number of weeks ago. It doesn't matter now how long, it just did. After that, I was forced to look towards public transportation to get me to work, which was already a one hour commute from my house by car, driving at an easy speed of 80mph. I was nervous to say the least. I tried to take the bus once back in Hawaii from Ko'Olina to my house right? No big deal, there's maybe what, 2 buses, one going each way? But alas, I found myself somewhere off Farrington, at who knows what time of night, and Esther and Siope had to come and pick me up from a Jamba Juice, where I spent my last 5 bucks just 'cause I felt bad for sitting there in the shop for the last 5 hours.

I tried once more recently. I believed my plan was foolproof. I asked a friend who was very familiar with the bus system to show me how to find routes and how to get from place to place. She, being the excellent person that she was, did just that. I planned a route to a job that I would be starting soon, and since I had no car, this would have to do. It took me 3.5 hours to get to that prospective job location, and included a half an hour walk from the closest bus stop to the building, along streets with no crosswalks or sidewalks for that matter. That was a bad idea since it is snowing most of the year here. Booooooo.....

Long story short, me and the bus have never been friends. I never understood how it worked, how people would sit on top of each other and still pretend that the other person wasn't there, I never got the whole culture of public transportation. I make the excuse that I grew up in freeway country where people drive from the ripe age of 13 and that's why I don't get it. Either way, it was now finally time for me to learn.

My first time riding the bus was an amazing experiencing. I didn't even sleep the night before, I don't think. I spent hours the day before on the computer planning out my route. I looked over each stop, and Google mapped everything! I had to know exactly where each stop was, what the street looked like, and I hopelessly searched Google for the name of the bus driver of each bus. I was psycho. But in my defense, I was scared outta my wits, and was nervous that I would end up across the country somewhere, and knowing my luck, I would be all the way to Kentucky by the time I figured out the right stop to get off.

I woke up early that day. It was very early for me. The bus ride would take me 2 hours to get to my work, and I had to get everything ready for a whole days worth of activities. Things that I would normally keep in my car, I couldn't. I had to carry them with me. Only 2 transfers, I kept thinking. It was more like, 2 TRANSFERS! Dang. I tried to keep positive. I had everything, my lunch, my jacket, my outfit was good, I had my rubber slippers on, my gym clothes, my bus pass, I was set.

I got out to the stop 15 minutes early. I read a quote by Benjamin Franklin once about being early by 15 minutes, and the only other thing I remember is it leading to success. So much for life lessons. I thought to myself that if there was any day that I needed success, it would be today. Then it started raining. Sheesh. I rolled up my pant legs, (since there is nothing in this world I despise more than wet pant legs) and I waited there in the cold rain. Rain here is cold here. It's the worst thing ever. I don't understand why rain has to be cold here. But it is winter, and I presume this is normal.

The bus finally came to get me. I looked at my paper to find that indeed this was my bus. But the bus was different. As it halted in front of me in the early morning darkness, I noticed that the bus was actually a handicap bus. Y'alls know which one I'm talking about, the midget buses for the old people! Oh man... here I go.

I walked onto the midget bus and was happy to feel the warmth of a heater. My legs and feet were numb and my clothes were all wet. I didn't even have a jacket. I asked the bus driver, am I on the right bus? He looked at the wrinkled wet paper in my hands, "Yeah," he replied. I sat there for a while, nervous. Then the bus started moving. I walked up to the front again and asked the bus driver if this bus went to the train station. "Yeah, it's at the end of the line," he said. "Cool, thank you" I responded, although my mind thought, "what's the end of the line?" Finally the bus stopped and the driver yelled to me, "get off here." Walk past that green rail and wait there, the train will come, and then you can get on there. I hopped off the bus so thankful to be there, safe, and not lost. I thanked the bus driver about 10 times and ran off the bus.

Here I go, transfer. I got on the bus easy enough. I didn't really understand what the first driver was talking about since there was nothing past the green rail. But, I did as he said, and felt stupid the whole time. I talked to a couple of people nearby who also confirmed I was standing in the right place. It was like Platform 9 and 3/4 from Harry Potter, it just didn't make sense to me. Then all of a sudden I heard a bell, and in no time at all, there was a train right in front of me. I got onto the train easy enough, wet, with all of my things. It was nice. This was the first time I had ever been on a train. In my life! The train at Knott's Berry Farm, and Disneyland do not count in this instance, of course. My paper was giving me some random instructions. Get off the train at such and such a number and such and such a number. Some address. But all of the stops in the train had names, not addresses. I was mad. I was mad at the blasted computer for giving me misinformation.

All of a sudden, I hear the announcer repeat over the loudspeaker, "This is the end of the line, as far as we go." "Oh well," I thought to myself, I guess this is where I go. I got off the train and noticed a bunch of people running to various stops. I looked to my right and far in the distance I could see it. A stop for my next bus. Transfer #2! I walked in a bit of a jog towards the stop, and stood in line behind everyone. I took my turn, tapped my pass, and sat down next to this Tongan lady in the front. The bus was full, and I was so panicked I asked her if I could sit with her. I literally squished her towards the wall so we could both fit. But I was happy to have a seat. The bus driver assured me the bus would go straight to my job, and sure enough, it did. I got to my job, safe and sound, and even got in a little nap on the way.

As I walked from the bus that day, I couldn't stop smiling. It was as though I conquered some great fear in me, and found that it was all clouds, and fairies and such after all. I hadn't felt so much confidence in a long time. It gave me an extreme sense of independence, and I could never have imagined, how much the bus would change my life...