Personal Space

I find that every place has it's own communication culture. We all communicate differently, in public, around friends, around strangers. I was always taught to be kind, courteous, and unafraid of strangers. Strangers are people too.

When I was young, friendship relationships built by levels. A potential friend maybe sat next to you at school. This relationships starts with a conversation, finding similarities, talking. Maybe after that, you both decided that you would take your relationship to the next level by hanging out in public. A.K.A, you guys decided to play at the playground at lunchtime. After a long while of that, when the time was right, you took your relationship to the personal level, by letting your friend come over to your house. They then saw your house, your room, the food you eat in your family, the way you live. This is a huge step. This was only done after a good while. As the years pass, your relationship with this person develops from buddy, to chum, to kindred spirits of sorts. These people are allowed in your personal space, because your comfort level with them is quite high.

An interesting thing happens though when you ride the public transportation. I realized this the first time I rode a packed bus. I was on the bus early, so I got a seat in the front. However, as the bus piled in, people were everywhere! Literally. I dreaded the idea of someone sitting next to me, since my broad shoulders were sure to make anyone else a human sandwich. And then, he came, an older gentleman who couldn't walk very well. He was bigger than me and wearing a huge jacket and a backpack. He looked at the seat next to me, and before I could say anything, he was sitting down pretty much on top of me, and rearranging his bag. After we both rearranged ourselves the best we could, I was expecting he was going to look at me and introduce himself at least. After all, we were pretty much sitting on top of each other, and were it not for the fact that there was not even an inch of standing room, I would have moved. He, however, did no such thing, instead he looked at me and put his arm around me and held onto the pole on the other side of my arm. His only words to me were, "I don't wanna fall."

I was amazed. People in public spaces like this, cramped together like sardines at times, and everyone is ignoring each other. Don't you want to know who is sitting in your lap???? I was amazed. Shocked. Confused. This was a different playground, with different rules. In any other situation, if a guy tried to put his arm around me like that when I didn't want him to, of course I would have decked him good right in the face. But I was so confused, that I had to literally sit a whole bus ride, with this guys arm around me, and for the first time in my life, I let him.

Who knew people would be comfortable holding onto a stranger. Talk about stranger danger. Hehehehe.....